My recent trip, met a couple who apparently dating, it seems “like” heading towards “Love.” When I do this so often, I started asking them about how they recognize a variety of problems, because I do What, when they say that they met through an online dating site my interest was aroused immediately!
My problems began full force! How long have you been online? How many dates have you? What are your success strategy? How do you know this person is worthy of a second date? The third date?
This is very interesting because they have a very different approach and perspective.
He: I have been using online dating service for three years. I have been on a first date in 88 (yes, he says, he has to expect them). I’ve been in 24 seconds date, and some of the third date. One relationship lasted about three months ago, I realized that I do not see it going anywhere. I really want someone who shared my interests, who love outdoor activities.
His approach is luck. He knew more first date, he goes, the better chance he has to meet the right person. He is also very decisive. He said he did not want to waste his time, or her, and if he does not date from his right to his people knew from the beginning. He is respectful and kind, he did not lead to anyone.
She said: “I was online a few weeks a few years ago, but in some kind of response I got scared, then quickly took down my profile I am a very private person (for her. later told me that she does not use any social media tool – free of Facebook, Twitter no, no Instagram) at the urging of some friends, I made a few months ago a new profile I’ve always been very simple. and I did was write a book on Blurb I like to do and I do not include photos too personal!
Her approach is not luck, but her approach is very selective. She did not want to go to a bunch of random date with a stranger. She was too private and introverted find any fun!
He saw her profile. They share similar interests. She also likes outdoor activities. He held out his hand to her. They share some brief notes back and forth, and decided that they should meet for coffee. He did not ask, but she took the initiative to send photos.
She: I do not want to meet before the first date has a long history of online communication. I’m not interested in e-mail and telephone hours pages we met. I’d rather cut to the chase, and have a real interaction. People can hide their face to face to face via e-mail and phone more than they who.
He: I agree! I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, there is a face-face conversation. We agreed to meet, coffee is a simple and safe way to meet first. This is not a meal to meet the “promise.”
They met with the coffee and get their orders, and within a few minutes to sit down, she suggested they take their coffee and head outside for a walk through the local park while talking! perfect! They both love being active outside. They walked and talked and walked and talked, until it’s time to let her go back to work. They returned to the cafe, said another.
He: I do not play games. I can not get her off my mind, I knew I wanted to learn more! (Who is not moved after this guy on a first date with 88 other women!). The next morning, I called to ask her out on a second date. We decided to meet the next day after work, go to another walk. I remembered her particular order, when we meet coffee, I stopped, grabbed coffee in front of us, we had to walk.
She: He remembered my order. This is a special touch. He gave enough attention to what I ordered, he remembers. It’s the little things. Our second walk continues past dark. There are walking and talking about, just think open and honest. Perhaps it is because you are not sitting staring at each other. Feel less vulnerable, perhaps it can make you more vulnerable. I do not know what it is, but it works.
The couple was lovely. They clearly care about each other, to share real interests seem committed to trying to figure out how to make things normal confusion among the working life. The reality is that both divorced, two children, two full-time jobs and live on both sides of a large city. All of this adds complexity to a new and budding relationship, but they are keen to do everything we can to make it work. I sincerely wish them the best of luck!
I wrap my couple learned the key points to 4:00, I put in a memorable sentence: DATE.
D: is decisive – do what feels comfortable to you. You know what you want, what you do not. There is nothing wrong is decisive how you treat online dating. (For example, he knows when it will not go further than the first date, she knew she did not want her profile photo).
A: The focus – pay attention to what you share with other people, not just by their words but also through their own behavior. It says a lot, is to show you “listen” (for example, he remembered her coffee special order) a good way.
T: talkative – the couple that “talking” (actually speak!) Is crucial, and means so much more than communicate by email, SMS or telephone. Science and technology is great (we will not fall in love without it!), But there is a real need to really talk, if you are really going to understand others.
E: passion – recognizing a new growing dating and relationship is not easy, especially with a plateful of adult life have served before them. A good dose of passion is necessary in order to manipulate the inevitable obstacles and challenges, which will be up!